Decorated, Understated, Over The Top

As a first-time subscriber to Roberta Fidora's Neighbourhood, this year has seen some unexpected treats drop through the letterbox, in addition to access to Roberta's vault of releases under her own name and previously as CURXES, plus any new songs as they emerge. All for less than the cost of half a dozen cappuccinos from your favourite cafe per year.  A bargain, in other words.

My first festive treat as a neighbour arrived this week: a Christmas card, designed by Roberta with a personalised message inside. No question, the best of the bunch received at Casa K this year. Wonderful.

To complement this, Roberta's also released a seasonal song, Christmas Trees, and it's a belter. Even a casual browser of this blog will have sussed that when it comes to Christmas songs, I'll embrace pretty much all of it, however cheesy or played to death (though I will draw the line at Mariah Carey and Ed Sheeran).

That said, as my Bad Santa offerings attest, I tend to lean more heavily towards the slightly off-kilter and frequently jaded take on this time of year.

Following in the tradition of It's Christmas And I'm Crying by Du Blonde (2023) and Boxing Day Sales by Richard Dawson (2024), Roberta delivers a deliciously downbeat narrative against an upbeat, jingly jangly backdrop.

Christmas Trees comes in two versions, with a radio edit dropping the cusses (or should that be CUXXES?) whilst loving none of it's bite. 

I've shared the words below, but you can also find a lyric video on YouTube. 

Head on over to Bandcamp for Roberta's music and maybe even join the Neighbourhood. 

Having been subjected to a 10 second loop of Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow emanating from an inflatable monstrosity in the garden opposite Casa K for 15 hours a day for the past four weeks, I know where we'd rather be!

It’s late December

And I am quite depressed

(Put the tree up but can I skip the rest?)

Carols are being drowned out by the neighbours’ shit

(Ho ho ho)

(Really tried but I’m just not feeling it)

Nothing is magical

It’s a massive lie

(Reasons for the season are running dry)

People are miserable and yet still they buy

(As if Christmas could be quantified)

And all the gifts are too expensive

And there is really no incentive to buy

Anything

All around me

All around me

Those Christmas trees

But I feel like

  in January

All the trimmings

All the singing

Hey, can you not?

But the register keeps ringing in the shops

Sleigh bells are grating

And so are children’s choirs

(Shut up, please) (And the volumes seem like they’re getting higher)

You can shove them up your pa rum pum pum pum

(Father Christmas too, he can just do one)

And all the gifts are too expensive

And relatives are argumentative

If they’re still around

(But quite a few are dead!)

All around me

All around me

Those Christmas trees

But I feel like

I’m their branches in January

All the trimmings

All the singing

Hey, can you not?

But the register keeps ringing in the shops

Consumerism

Forced tradition

Yes it is and no it isn’t

Can you hear what I hear now?

Well that’s because you never listen

Buy everybody tat

Don’t touch the thermostat!

Do I have to interact with

Any of this festive crap?

Joyeux noel?

See you in hell…

And all the gifts are too expensive

And none of them are quite inventive enough

(Overly sentimental)

For anyone you love

All around me

All around me

Those Christmas trees

But I feel like

I’m their branches in January

Decorated, understated, over the top

Until their needles drop…and then it finally stops.

(Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas)