Thursday 9 February 2023

Au Revoir

Yesterday, my father-in-law was cremated. We made the just-under two hour trip to her parents to join Mrs. K's mum and brother, before the hearse arrived bearing his coffin and we were taken to the crematorium a short drive from home.

My mother-in-law selected the music which soundtracked our time together with him, moments of reflection, sadness at his passing and joy at the many, many memories of his kindness and love for his family.
 
I'm not a traditionalist in most things, but I did ask him for permission to marry Mrs. K and his reaction - there were tears (of happiness, I hasten to add) - will always stay with me. I knew him for over two decades and he was the best "in law" I could have wished for, welcoming me into the family and just being a great dad to us.
 
I'm pretty sure there were seven songs in the twenty-or-so minutes of music; I can only recall six, thinking I've missed the actual penultimate song somewhere. Back at the house, my mother-in-law couldn't remember all of the songs either; hardly surprising as our thoughts were elsewhere. She didn't write it down beforehand and will contact the funeral directors as she's asked me to burn a CD-R of the songs for her.
 
The songs will be familiar to many of you. Not your typical Dubhed fare perhaps, although by sheer coincidence one of the artists appeared a couple of weeks ago in my tribute to Sylvia Sims.
 
I've scoured YouTube to find the songs and - in all but two cases - live/TV performances by the artists in question. The opening song has a monologue at the start and a second song at the end, so the song in question runs from approx. 2:00 to 7:30.
 
The closing song is about as good a choice as one could wish for.
 
My father-in-law's ashes will be returned home on Friday. In many other respects, he never left and will always be with us in our hearts.
 
Thank you, David, for everything.   

1) The Lonely Shepherd: James Last ft. Gheorghe Zamfir
2) Moon River: Andy Williams
3) As Time Goes By: Perry Como
4) It's All In The Game: Nat King Cole
5) My Way: Frank Sinatra
6) What A Wonderful World: Louis Armstrong
 





10 comments:

  1. My condolences, K. Fine songs for a send off though... and I can imagine that closing with Louis was particularly emotional.

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    1. Many thanks, Rol. Apologies for the slow reply, Google didn't seem to want me to comment on my own posts for several days (!), all sorted now. Yes, it was a lovely sequence of songs which felt 'just right' on the day.

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  2. Very nice tribute, he's sounds like a top bloke. 'It's All In The Game' is one of the finest songs ever written in my opinion

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    1. Thank, Ernie, yes he was. And you're right about It's All In The Game. I hadn't heard the song for many years but the opening line, "Many a tear has to fall but it's all in the game" brought it all back.

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  3. A lovely recounting of what must have been a tough day. Sounds as if you landed lucky with David as a father-in-law but if he was Mrs K's dad, it makes sense. He liked his Americans did David but what a fantastic line-up there - must have been emotional.

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    1. Many thanks, Alyson. In his later years, they bought a turntable so that they could dust off and listen to their old vinyl albums again. In the years that I've known them, they rarely played music but it must have been a special moment rediscovering all the songs that they both enjoyed decades ago. It was a privilege to hear the selection last week.

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  4. David sounds like a very fine man indeed. Some lovely selections here. I don't have any kids myself, but I wonder if there's a more moving few lines in popular music than '...I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, they'll learn much more, than I'll ever know...'

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    1. Thanks, TS. It's a classic lyric, isn't it? From my personal experience, I can safely say that Lady K is the living embodiment of that statement!

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  5. As everyone has already said, this is a very lovely, moving and apt tribute to an obviously very decent and genuine man. I hope Mrs K is doing ok....it's the period after the funeral and formalities that are most often the hardest times.

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    1. Many thanks, JC. Still lots of practical stuff to work through which is quite structured I guess. Everything else is less so, unbidden and unpredictable in impact.

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