I Put The Ass In Blasphemy

Lynks released a new single and video last week.

I Didn't Come Here For Art is utterly wonderful and utterly exhilarating in every way.

If you experience a better song or video today, please send me the, er, links.

For more Lynks links, visit their artist site on Heavenly Records, try their Bandcamp page for back catalogue brilliance, and visit The Guardian for the interview in March 2024 which supplied today's title.

So he invites me out, 

Said he's going to this really cool night

And I said, 

"Wow, that sounds really cool"

So I step out the Uber

Everywhere I look, 

Turtlenecks, crochet berets, distressed linens, 

Ugh

I walk inside, 

The DJ's playing ambient noise

There's a huddle of people watching an interpretive dance performance

Someone's painting a wall with their hands

A girl's in the corner drinking orange wine 

Talking about how her flip phone saved her life

And no one was dancing

 

So my friend turned to me and said, 

"Isn't this cool?"

And I said, 

"No"

So I told him

 

"I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance"

 

Don't ask me about Almodóvar when I'm tryna get a drink at the bar

I'm not here to think, just here for fun

Someone tell the DJ, 

"Play a song with drums" 

My god, is that too much to ask for?

People wanna dance on the dancefloor

And if the beat's hard, they're gonna dance more

Guess they didn't teach that at art school

So tell your arty friend, tell 'em, 

"Put down The Guardian"

Tell 'em, 

"Take off your cardigan,

You ain't in Central Saint Martins"

What's a trilby to a snapback?

What's a quiche to a Big Mac?

What's a vape to a cig pack?

I don't care just lemme fuckin' hit that

A girl blows a cloud of Banana Ice Lost Mary's in my face

And asks, 

"What's wrong?"

So I say,

 

"I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance"

Right, people, we need to act now

'Cause it looks like they're about to set up life drawing

Are you sick of it? 

Yeah

Do you wanna dance? 

Yeah

Good

Well, repeat after me

No more try hard, spoken word, art school shit

(No more try hard, spoken word, art school shit)

No more, "How the fuck am I supposed to dance to this?"

(No more, "How the fuck am I supposed to dance to this?")

No more try hard, spoken word, art school shit

No more, "How the fuck am I supposed to dance to this?"

No more try hard, spoken word, art school shit

And if the DJ sucks, then he asked for it 

 

"I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance 

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance 

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance 

I didn't come here for art, I only came here to dance"

 

(Woo)

(Dance)

(Mmm)

I...I...I came here to dance

I...I...I came here to d...

I...I...I came here to...

I...I...I came here to d...

I...I...I came... (Woo)

I...I...I came here to d...

I...I...I came here to...

I...I...I came here to d...

I...I...I came here to dance

I...I...I only came here to... (Uh-huh?)

I...I...I only came...(Yeah?)

I...I...I only came here to... (Okay)

I...I...I only came... (Mmm)

I didn't come here for art (Yeah?)

I only came here to dance

I didn't come here for art (Uh-huh?)

I only came here to dance